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Wow. Six whole years since I was last here and so much has.... well, enough of that. I kind of decided this morning to use Livejournal as a kind of benchmark as to how much I was getting done, what I am doing and posting odd little screenshots of stuff.

You can always talk to me on Twitter edparnell or on the various, copius and ill maintained websites I run.

Oh, those days.

I get creative splurges. I'm pretty sure it's an occupational hazard. I get an idea, think 'oh, that's quite funny' and decide how I am going to do it. Narrative? A set? Animation? Audio? It's a multi choice thing. And all these things take a bit of time to do, and by the time I am halgwat through I am not sure of the validity of what I am doing. It's like when someone tells you a joke you have heard before and you feign a polite chuckle. Or you can see the end a mile off.

So the end result of all this is that I have a HDD full of partially finished scripts, drawers of material, notebooks, dictaphone tapes and digital media all with various ideas which may or may not work. Sure, people look at you strangely when you are walking along talking into a dictaphone but it's no more weird than walking with a mobile. I've been walking aroun like that for decades. I see no reason to change now.

So does anyone else get periods of inspiration, followed later by a suspicion that what you are doing is, in showbusiness speke 'bad'?

I am going to try and post here more often as I have always got good feedback on stuff - albeit commentary on my lofty position - and it's nice people are honest to tell me I am full of it when, actually, I am, instead of pussyfooting around the issue.

Speak soon.
I've been doing a stock take of my time. Thing is, you can't get a good pic because you are doing a time and output study. So I put a camera Up and monitored myself. It was disgusting. Not that I spent too much time...doing man things... no, I just wasted a lot of time for the slender productivity that emerged. So I am spending the evening working on a new timetable.

Posted via LjBeetle


Well, to be honest my new regime of strict productive time management is working well. Actually getting things done IS both novel and rewarding. Who cannot that be hovering outside my door?

Posted via LjBeetle

Big Things

I am continually surprised by the Next Big Thing. It's like a constant stream of surprise. A golden stream, soaking me in it's unexpected goodness. And the reason is because the Next Big Thing isn't actually that big, next or, in some cases, a 'thing' at all. These days, with apps and phones and everything seemingly to have the prefix 'I', people are raving about something that doesn't exist at all. They queue up all night, often several nights, to buy something which has a slightly different corner to the item they already have, simply so they can impress someone else by having the latest thing. And really, it's not that impressive. Because, if you think about it, you rarely hear a news story go thus


“Sergeant Yappicheq was killed while defusing a device left in the yard

of a school packed with children who looked on as the brave officer

tried to save them and their school from certain obliteration. Many

expressed sadness at this heroes' passing, and colleagues said it

was a tragedy as he had just downloaded the update to Hootsuite”


The point is that the Next Big Thing is often the precursor to 'a correction to fix a bug in that Big Thing which was formally known as 'next' '.


In days of yore, Microsoft were particularly adept at this. The much trumpeted Vista system, an improvement to the XP version of their computing software was heralded by the company themselves and certain other medicated individuals as 'the most fantastic piece of coding and proof that God works at MS Corps. We have his login – Look!'. The system was vaunted to be superb. That this would go a good way to solving everything wrong with the world, and if it didn't, well, those problems just made things more interesting and probably weren't important enough and had been ignored by the programmers because they were concentrating designing new cards in Solitaire.


The reality of Vista was somewhat different. Far from being the panacea of all ills and the awakening of all users sexual magnetism (so much so that it came with it's own shitty stick to beat them off with), the system fell somewhat short of expectation.Within minutes of the computer being booted up, desks were being thumped, mice being forcefully pushed about and perhaps ironically - glaziers being called as large, computer shaped holes appeared in windows.


Soon, Presidents were called, Prime Ministers' were aroused from their afternoon slumber and Peter Andre was pouting. This was a crisis of international proportions. How could an operating system be so poor, after promising not only to turn water into wine and cure all plagues, famines and death in the world, yet be seemingly unable to accept a user password?


The Holy Grail had passed to Apple, a smaller, leaner company and more secretive than Dick Cheneys' MSN contact list. They had, sometime previously, produced a machine called an iMac. Beautifully crafted, sleak, all in one. They became the best selling computer of all time, and Apple commenced employing as many great minds as they could with an common purpose – how, given this level of success, could they fuck it up?


Operating system followed operating system, each sleaker, smoother and more customisable than the last. The Mini, The Imac, The Emac. The company was on a roll. Soon phones were released. Each a leaner version of the last. But conversely quicker and increasingly responsive. An App store, where people could buy and indeed write their own applications. Itunes. It seemed nothing could go wrong. Then the iPhone 4 happened. A phone with so many features, including it seemed the ability to individually monitor every employee in a Bavarian spicy sausage factory, a phone with such power it could tell you not only the phases of the moon, but the phases of every moon in the galaxy at any point in history. A phone which understood what the fuck Brian Cox was on about, and a special app which allowed the phone to look at you in a patronising way. The simple act of making calls though was a line of thought that hadn't been considered. According to the manual, 'users may find reception improved when wearing Jodrell Bank'.


Something that gets me more than I am prepared to say  is people who seem incapable of actually doing something.

Last year I was running my website and I thought 'hey, I'd like to have the .com name'. At the time I had the money, inclination and time to set it up. So I WHOIS'd and found the host of the .com, and through them contacted the owner. What a nightmare. The upshot of it was that this guy seemingly had no idea about anything, despite being a 'professional financial advisor'. I'm not about to send money orders abroad. I want everything by the book. So instead of dealing with the hosts I went through the direct route. Cos you can't go wrong dealing with people direct. Or so I thought. Well, money orders requires a passport or photo ID so that's out. I don't own such things. So sending it was an problem. So I arranged for around $500 to be paid through paypal. This was a problem as the reciever didn't a: have a paypal account and b: no ID to get one.

About now, after two months of trying to obtain this, I was starting to get a little suspicious. So I reclaimed the money from Paypal and waited. Lo and behold, back he comes with some story or other. Then his brother was being difficult. What is this guy? 6? And so anothe rmonth goes by and I am putting some stuff on hold for this. eventually I backed out entirely. .coms aren't what they are cracked up to be, but there's a point where you think is it really worth all this trouble? As a shop window, yes, it would be useful, but the aggravation I got in trying to obtain it. I think not.

So now I am playing catch up and I am going to be here every Sunday.



Tomorrow is a big day. Well, as big as big days get around these here parts. Tomorrow sees my series going before Mr Numero Uno, the Big Banana, The Head Cheese (actually, I don't find that phrase flattering at all) at a company which means, should it go the way I want it to - obviously a sale - I write an entire series, get paid, buy a barge and sail out of control into the dead sea.

It's not the first time I've got to this stage and I daresay it won't be the last. But if it works I shall become a professional, working person. I may even have to get dressed occassionally.

Aug. 14th, 2010


I am not quite sure why I did what I just did. In short, a few months ago I bought, from eBay, an old G4 Mac. It's not a bad buy at £40. But it had an operating system which may as well have greeted me with 'Hello my leige'. So I decided to upgrade it. Having looked at the offerings for the PPC market, I decided that, strangely, No, I wasn't going to pay for something. Especially when I don't even know if the software will actually work, but mainly because I am tighter than the gap between Eric Pickles and his collar.

for those who don't know, Eric Pickles is a Conservative Minister of portly proportions, and while not wishing to denegrade him in anyway, I do think that he is one of the few people in the UK who may personally have a boundary change. If anything, since the election in May, he has become even huger (I am avoiding the word FAT) and may in fact have a new reason for the letters MP after his name, namely 'M Planet'.

So anyway, I was beavering away and I discovered, quite by change, I could install a flavour of Linux on this machine. I am not sure why they call them flavours. I can only assume it's because traditionally people who know about these sorts of things have bad breath, and blame software for the fact they can peel an orange by talking to close to it. I used to know a man like that who talked so close to your face you could see his epiglotis.

so I have now Debian Linux on here and I have to say it's all going swimmingly. Word processing, HTML tools, all the gubbins to play with to ensure that I never actually finish anything. Cos when I got this brainwave I was making a cartoon. Eighteen seconds of animated action and voila, I get bored a couple of minutes in and try to log into a chess server under the name Mrs Irene Handl.

I also made a prank call but suspect I rang the wrong number so if you were intending following up that call from the Zoo about the Dung Hats, don't.

Let me run this past you...

I am sick of having people coming to my door, offering to change energy suppliers, sell me glazing, offer me phone deals or smash my face in. Or a combination of the above. So...and this is where you come in...

Recently I was rummaging through stuff. I have a LOT of stuff. Most of it is stuff I have bought / aquired over the years, some useful, some not. However, not sure where this came from, but I seem to have a zimmer frame. I also had for a while a motorised wheelchair, which, after giving it a go down the road, I gave to charity. But I still have a zimmer frame. So here's my plan.

The next person who knocks my door, I am using the zimmer frame. I will take about twenty minutes getting to the door, calling out how they should wait and how I am on my way. People feel guilty about this, and I intend to play on this. When I get to the door I will then put a sign in the window saying 'no sales' and walk off normally.

Is this in bad taste? If they are going to waste my time, I am sure as hell going to waste theirs.

Mad house

Owing to unforeseen circumstances I now have three chinchillas here as well.